Martial 3.85: Quis tibi persuasit

by Tom Gardner

Quis tibi persuasit naris abscidere moecho?
Non hac peccatum est parte, marite, tibi.
Stulte, quid egisti? Nihil hic tibi perdidit uxor,
cum sit salva tui mentula Deiphobi.

Who persuaded you to cut off the adulterer’s nose?
No sin has been committed against you by this part, husband.
Idiot, what have you done? Your wife has lost nothing here with respect to you,
since your Deiphobian cock is safe.