Mart. 4.20: Dicit se vetulam

by Tom Gardner

Dicit se vetulam, cum sit Caerellia pupa:
pupam se dicit Gellia, cum sit anus.
Ferre nec hanc possis, possis, Colline, nec illam:
altera ridicula est, altera putidula.

Caerellia says she’s an old lady, though she’s just a doll:
Gellia says she is a doll, although she’s an old woman.
You can’t sustain the latter, Collinus, nor the former:
one is absurd, the other nauseating.